Oh how I wish that was me
by atheniandemigodonfire
Summary: Apollo watches her from a distance. He regrets what he's done. But he knows he will never be able to get her back. Thalia is now with the son of Hermes. How does Apollo feel?


**(A/N) _Hey everyone! I am totally new at this fan fiction stuff so go easy! I'm not as good as all of you people out there! So this is based on how Apollo feels as he watches Thalia and Luke from a distance. BTW I am TOTALLY in love with THAPOLLO! They're sooo cuuuutteee! (Now I sound like what Aphrodite supposedly sound like :P) And also this is after the Titan War. So anyways: enjoy and please review and feel free to criticize anything at all!_**

THAPOLLO

Song: I Wish

_Na na na na na_  
_Na na na na na_  
_He takes your hand  
__I die a little_

I look at her from a distance. She was still beautiful Thalia. And we were perfect together. But one day I couldn't resist it: that dryad was beautiful! So, being a god, I chased after it. And she saw us together and broke down into tears and anger. That mistake ruined our relationship and she left me. Artemis, who still found it her duty to look out for her, beat me up for it for weeks! Of course I begged Thalia to forgive me and of course she didn't. And who is she with now? That stupid son of Hermes. Luke Castellen. They were walking out of the Dining Pavilion, hand in hand. I cursed myself as I remembered the times when we walked together like that. And it hurt remembering.

_I watch your eyes_  
_And I'm in riddles_  
_Why can't you look at me like that?_

They're at the amphitheatre now, looking at each other and laughing as they shared an inside joke. Her eyes had a glint of happiness in it. It was no mistake, she loved him maybe much more than she loved me. I felt bitter as I thought about it but pushed that thought to the back of my mind.

_Na na na na na_  
_When you walk by_  
_I try to say it_  
_But then I freeze_  
_And never do it_  
_My tongue gets tied, the words get trapped._

I remember that day on Olympus, a few months after she left me, she was checking over the rebuilding efforts with Athena's daughter. They were coming in the throne room to tell Lord Zeus about the progress. I was outside waiting for them to come out. I wanted to tell Thalia I was sorry. But as they came through the doors, she hardly looked at me. It was as if I wasn't standing right there at all. And nothing would come out. No words, no sound, no voice came out of me at all.

_I hear the beat of my heart getting louder_  
_Whenever I'm near you_

I didn't have to be near her to hear and feel my heart race. Just a glimpse of her could get my heart beating really fast, so much that I was pretty sure it had shot straight out of my chest. So loud that I thought the whole world could hear it.

_But I see you with him_  
_Slow dancing_  
_Tearing me apart_  
_'Cause you don't see_

That Luke boy is standing up now and holding out his hand to her. She reaches out for it and starts dancing with him. **_Slow _**dancing with both her hands around his neck and his hands around her waist. Watching them together was depressing. Why was I so stupid?  
They're looking deeply into each other's eyes. And he leaned in and kissed her. How dare he, son of friggin' HERMES kiss **MY** Thalia? I turned away not wanting to hurt myself at the sight. I was mentally beating myself up in my mind.

_Whenever you kiss him_  
_I'm breaking_  
_Oh how I wish that was me_

___Na na na na na_  
_Na na na na na_

__They had stopped kissing. They look at eachother for a moment. Luke whispered something in Thalia's ear. And Thalia kissed him on the nose. She should be doing that to ME! I turn around and punched the nearest tree. "Ouch! Watch it, my Lord! You may be angry but I am certainly not a punching bag!" and I looked to see a tree dryad, a juniper, I think, morph out of a tree and rubbing her arm painfully. "Sorry..."

I look back to see her sitting on his lap roasting marshmallows his head on her shoulders. How many times we've done that together. I missed the smell of her hair, her giggle when I tweaked it. I wipe the tears as they came to my eyes.

_He looks at you the way that I would_  
_Does all the things I know that I could_  
_If only time could just turn back_  
_'Cause I got three little words that I've always been dying to tell yo_u

I loved her. I still do. But she hates me. She's forgotten me and there is no way I can make it up to her. I pretty much cheated on her and I regretted it.

_But I see you with him_  
_Slow dancing_  
_Tearing me apart_  
_'Cause you don't see_  
_Whenever you kiss him_  
_I'm breaking_  
_Oh how I wish that was me_

_With my hands on your waste while we dance in the moonlight_

That time when we danced together on Olympus and the stars were shining bright. It was there that we shared our first kiss. Just the memory of it makes me smile just a bit. But the realisation that she isn't with me anymore wipes it away. Those soft lips against mine, her smile, her electric blue eyes. I cursed myself again and again.

_I wish it was me that you call later on_  
_'Cause you wanna say goodnight_

Our Iris messages to each other saying goodnight. It was good to wake up in the middle of the night hear her voice telling me to wake up and seeing her right there saying she can't sleep. So we talk and talk about anything and everything till she finally felt tired, and went to sleep. I loved those conversations with her. No doubt she'd be doing it with Luke now.

_'Cause I see you_  
_With him, slow dancing_  
_Tearing me apart 'cause you don't see_

Nothing pained me more than losing her. She wasn't like any other girl I have dated. I wanted her to know that I loved her and her only. Yet I still went and did that to her. She'll think that it's a lie. Can't blame her. She can't trust me, and I don't think I can trust myself either. It's all my fault! I hadn't kept my promise to her. And I've lost her. How can I LIVE with myself?

_But I see you with him_  
_Slow dancing_  
_Tearing me apart_  
_'Cause you don't see_  
_Whenever you kiss him_  
_I'm breaking_  
_Oh how I wish_

I took one last look at her. She was so beautiful and as I said: I messed up terribly and it was my fault that she wasn't with me now. I sent a message into her thoughts and whispered to her in the night;  
"Don't forget me,"

_Oh how I wish_

"And remember,"

_Oh how I wish that was me_

"I love you forever and always."  
And as I began to teleport back to Olympus, I looked back and saw the look of confusion on her face. I heard her thought in my head "Apollo?". I turned away. I felt guilty and depressed. But I decided to look back once more just to take her image in again so I could remember. And as I begun to fade away I saw her giggling at whatever the son of Hermes just whispered into her ear. Damn him!

_Oh how I wish that was me…_

_**SOOOO... That's it! Thanks for reading! And before you say anything: I know, I know, Luke is suppose to be dead. Well, in my case, lets just say he survived it… I'm going to do a lot more of this if you want me to with all the Percy Jackson characters. I started off with Thalia and Apollo because I love their pairing the most! I don't know why! But I also really love Percabeth and Japer :D So yeah! Thanks and please review and criticize all you like! Just remember this is my first ever fan fic! **_

_**ThapolloandPercabeth4ever**_

_**xoxoxo**_


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